The Borderland Chronicles: Torgues and Tea Parties
by Bulletmagnetdd
Summary: After the double-cross on his last contract, former Hyperion Assassin Agent 71 is stranded on Pandora. Mr. Torgue has offered him a new job. Meanwhile, the Jacobs Corporation has placed a large bounty on his head to be taken in - Dead or Alive!
1. Chapter 1

Off on the horizon, the sun began to set behind the red-orange sands of the Pandora desert. A lone Runner rolled across the sands. The sand crunched under the weight of the tires. The Runner began to slow as it approached a building surrounded by Runners and Bandit "Technicals". The Runner pulled along side a pair of Runners that were parked at the right side of the building.

Agent 71 pulled himself out of his Runner and hopped down to the ground. A small billow of sand kicked up around his boots as they made impact. Agent 71 adjusted the sniper rifle that was slung across his back. One by one, he checked the silenced pistols in his hip holsters. They both had full clips. He crouched down and pulled his Maliwan electric pistol from it's boot holster. He ejected the clip from the bottom of the pistol. _Little Evie _also had a full clip. Satisfied, Agent 71 placed the clip back into _Little Evie_ and slid it back into the holster.

Agent 71 stood erect and began making his way to the front of the building. Reaching the front, he observed the rendezvous point for his next contract. His goggles reflected the red and purple neon lights that flashed above the doors of the facility. The flashing sign was a pair of female legs with the words _**MOXXXI'S BED'S AND** **BOOZE**_written above them.

Agent 71 walked up the cracked concrete stairway up to a pair of large steel doors. The outline of the double doors were strung up with flashing lights. To the side on the left door was a Wanted Poster. Agent 71 looked at the reward poster. The caricature of the poster resembled Agent 71. The bounty of $250,000 was posted by the Jacobs Corporation to bring him in Dead or Alive.

"What a crappy likeness. They should've used my left profile. That would've captured my essence." Agent 71 said with a huff.

Agent 71 grasped one of the copper door handles. As the door began to open, he could hear the clamoring of beer mugs and murmurs of conversations coming from inside. The circular ceiling lights were dimmed, allowing people to get lost amidst the shadows. The walls were adorned with string lights similar to the front doors. There were wooden tables scattered across the main room.

He descended down the small staircase leading into the main room. As Agent 47 walked across the room, his eyes scanned the tables he passed. His hands stayed close to the handle grips of his twin pistols. If anyone so much as twitched or eyed him funny as he passed, he'd let bullets fly.

No one seemed to recognize him from the poster outside, so he continued to head toward the bar in the back of the establishment. Agent 71 took up a stool at the bar. His eyes met the woman running the bar. The woman was talking to a bandit in a grey mask. The bandit looked familiar to Agent 71, yet he couldn't remember where they had met. The woman whispered something to the bandit. The bandit said "Hey-o" and drank his beer.

Now Agent 71 remembered him, it was Steve! The Zafford who helped him escape the Hodunk's camp. The woman strutted over to Agent 71's side of the bar. She placed a hand on her hip. She smiled at Agent 71 and tipped her top hat. Agent 71 couldn't help but scan the bartender from her ripped fishnet stockings up to her corset, which barely contained the hostess' assets. The bartender cleared her throat to get his attention.

"Hello Sugar. I'm Moxxi and welcome to Moxxi's Bed's and Booze. What can I get for you?"

"Two things, Moxxi." Agent 71 said. He opened a pouch on the bandolier he acquired from a bandit in Lynchwood. Agent 71 placed some money onto the bar counter. "That guy you were just talking to, his next round is on me."

Moxxi smiled as she took the money off the table. "That's mighty generous of you Sugar. What's the second thing you need from little ole' Moxxi?"

Agent 71 went into another pouch and pulled out a Torgue Token. He placed it onto the bar. Placing two fingers on the token, he pushed it toward Moxxi.

Moxxi picked up the token and slipped it inside her cleavage. "Hold tight Sugar. Moxxi will be right back." Agent 71 watched Moxxi's buttocks inside her tight red and purple skirt as she made her way to the side of the bar. She flipped open the counter top and stepped into an office next to the bar. The hair's on the back of Agent 71's neck stiffened. His right hand reached down to his hip holster. As his fingers wrapped around the gun handle, he felt a gun nozzle press against his right temple.

"Don't try it Agent 71." The man's voice said. As the gun moved back from his temple, Agent 71 turned his head to see his would-be abductor. The man looked like a burly marauder. His leather duster was encrusted with dirt and sand. The leather was faded in spots where it had baked in the desert sun for too long. "Let's go. I've got a bounty to collect from the Jacobs Corporation."

Agent 71 one knew the marauder expected him to either draw his gun or let go of the handle. He did neither. He angled the pistol in the holster and squeezed the trigger. With a whisper, the gun fired a round into the boot of the marauder. As soon as he pulled the trigger, Agent 71 angled his head to avoid the reflex shot fired from the marauder. Agent 71's right hand left his gun and punched the marauder square in the chest. When his first made contact, he depressed a switch inside his glove. A spring release launched his wrist blade straight into the marauder's chest. Agent 71 retracted the blade and the marauder crumpled to the floor.

As the marauder fell, Agent 71 noticed a woman in the corner of the right wall watching the events. She was a small blonde in a dark chocolate leather jacket and sporting a grey fedora. She raised her glass at him in a toast. Suddenly, the doors to the bar flung open. The silhouette of a beefy man was in the door frame. The man began to play the air guitar.

"Bennananwhamm! WharrWahrrrWaharrrWhammmmm!"

Mr. Torgue came down the stairs and headed over to the bar. Mr. Torgue walked over the dead marauder and leaned over the counter. He looked down at Agent 71, just as Moxxi had returned to serve drinks behind the bar.

"Glad you could make it Badass! I've got a job for you."

Moxxi wiped one of her beer mugs. "Hey Sugar, why don't you and Mr. Torgue talk in my office for a little privacy? I'll join you in a bit. We'll have ourselves a little three-way, conversation. You'll love what I have to say. Nobody has ever complained about Moxxi's oral skills."


	2. Chapter 2

Agent 71 followed Mr. Torgue into the office at the side of the bar. Agent 71's feet sank a bit as his boots compressed the red shag carpet aligning the room. The plain ivory walls of the room were adorned with small golden framed pictures. Each picture was of Moxxi in provocative poses. The largest picture was set just behind the desk in the back of the room. In the picture, Moxxi was lying on her stomach on a red colored bed with purple throw pillows. She was wearing her top hat, a smile and little else.

To the right of the room, there was a long black leather couch. Mr. Torgue was already stretched out on. His large muscular arms were stretched out across the back of the couch. Agent 71 was not inclined to sit directly next to an employer. That wasn't professional, plus doing so on a couch was just a little creepy. "So what's the job Mr. Torgue?"

The door opened again before Mr. Torgue could respond. Moxxi strolled into the room, closing the door behind her.

"Thank you Mr. Torgue for saving me a seat."

"Anytime Moxxi". Mr. Torgue said as Moxxi sat down beside him on the couch. She tilted her hips on an angle as she sat down and crossed her legs, giving Agent 71 a side view of her left thigh.

Agent 71 cleared his throat to signal he wanted to return to business. However, it was mainly to focus his mind more on the job at hand then it was for them.

"Mr. Torgue?" Agent 71 said.

"Oh Right! I've got a situation. My lead weapons designer, Salty Saul, was on his way to meet one of my explosive suppliers when they were both kidnapped by Hyperion soldiers."

Agent 71 crossed his arms and tilted his head as he listened. "Do you have any idea where they're being held?"

"My sources in Sanctuary have told me that they are being held inside a Hyperion Research Facility within the Southern Wastes."

"Then I'd better get a coat." Agent 71 mused. "Is there any other Intel?"

"Just a few photos one of my agents took of the facility." Mr. Torgue said as he leaned over and fished the photos out of his pants. Torgue handed the set of photographs to Agent 71.

Agent 71 flipped through the photographs."I'll get right on it."

Mr. Torgue stood up. As Torgue approached Agent 71, Agent 71 offered his hand to seal the contract. Instead of a handshake, Agent 71 received a slap on the back by Mr. Torgue. The force from the slap moved him forward a few inches.

"Agent 71 your badass-atude is off the freaking charts! After this job, I'll put you on my payroll. You'll have access to all the guns, grenades and explosions any man could ever dream of!" Mr. Torgue said before he exited the room.

Agent 71 looked at Moxxi who was still sitting on the couch. Her right hand patted the seat cushion that Torgue had vacated. "Come on Sugar, it's time for our talk."

"Thanks, but I'm fine right here Moxxi" Agent 71 said waving her off.

"Oh, I insist Sugar. I promise I won't bite, something like that would come out of your fee."

Agent 71 really preferred to stand. There was something about Moxxi that was different from other women he'd met. Her presence was so strong he kept losing his focus. That was not professional. In addition, not having his head in the game during contract negotiations could cause him to take a job against his better interests. Yet, he was curious of the job and decided to accommodate her wishes. Agent 71 sat down beside Moxxi. Her right elbow rested on the back of the couch as her hand pressed against the side of her cheek.

"See, that wasn't so terrible." Moxxi said, smiling at him. "Why so tense, Agent 71? Does being so close to me bother you?"

"Hardly" Agent 71 said trying to sound more convincing than it sounded in his mind. He flipped through the pictures once more. The place was built inside of a glacier. He had no idea how he was going to be able to pull this mission off for Mr. Torgue. Agent 71 was suddenly aware of warm breath near his hooded ear. Moxxi had slid closer to him and was leaning into his shoulder to look at the pictures.

"Mmmm. That looks like a tough nut to crack." Moxxi had now draped her right arm across Agent 71's shoulders. "Help me with my job and I'll help you with this one."

"How could you help me with this fortress?" Agent 71 started to turn his head. He stopped when he realized how close Moxxi's face was to his.

"How about detailed blueprints of that facility for starters?"

"How could you get blueprints?" Agent 71 said with an air of disbelief.

"I already have them Sugar. Back when I dated Handsome Jack, he would take my skiing on far side of the mountain. I stayed in the facility quite a few times."

"You dated Handsome Jack, the head of Hyperion?" Agent 71 said as he stood up and crossed his arms.

"Hey! He seemed like an okay guy until he started killing everyone!" Moxxi said.

"So what exactly do you need me to do Moxxi?"

"I need you to pick up a canister inside the defunct Hyperion Wildlife Preserve and deliver it to the Crimson Raiders HQ in Sanctuary along with this ECHO recording." Moxxi said as she pulled out a small chip from her cleavage.

"Jeez! How many things do you have stashed in there?"

Moxxi lips curled in a wry smile. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Agent 71 took the chip and left Moxxi's office. As he headed to the door, Agent 71 noticed the marauder was still lying crumpled on the ground. The patrons of the bar were stepping over the body as they passed by. Agent 71 eyed the room. The blonde who toasted him earlier had left her table. Agent 71 made his way to the front door. He kept his right hand on his pistol grip in case there was anyone else who might be foolish enough to try and collect his bounty.

He exited Moxxi's place and walked down the steps and returned to his Runner. As he crawled back into his canopy, Agent 71 noticed something in the sky. In the pale moonlight he saw a large shadow circling the area. Even from this distance, he could tell it was quite large in size. He started his Runner and headed off to the Wildlife Preserve. The flying shadow circled once more after he left. The shadow then descended down into the parking lot. The lights of Moxxi's bar showed it was a giant Rakk.

On the Rakk's head was a harness with leather steering straps inside its mouth. The straps were held by a man who was saddled atop the Rakk. The rider dismounted the Rakk. His shirtless torso was defined with muscle and sported a pair spiked shoulder pads. The rider's face was covered in a bucket shaped helmet. There was a pair of horns on the side of the helmet, one of which had been broken in half.

The green night vision lens of the rider's visor illuminated a path to Moxxi's inn. The rider removed a large two-handed hammer from the side of his mount. The rider walked up to the inn door and began to open it. As the door opened, he noticed the wanted poster. Ripping it from the wall, the Rakk rider studied it. He looked in the direction that Agent 71 rode off in.

The rider folded the poster and stuffed it inside one of his bolt studded gauntlets. He then walked back to his mount. After placing his hammer back, the rider mounted his Rakk. With a tug of the reins the Rakk shrieked and took off for the skies once more.


	3. Chapter 3

Agent 71 had reached the entrance to Hyperion's Wildlife Exploitation Preserve. Agent 71 could see the Wildlife Preserve was at one time a very secure facility. The high walls of the facility were designed to ensure nothing escaped the Preserve. The main gate had a large sliding metal door that was a foot thick. Unfortunately, the large metal door was ajar about a meter. There was no telling how long the Preserve had been compromised.

Agent 71 placed his right hand on the door. Turning his body sideways, he slipped through the gap. The area beyond the door appeared to be a docking yard. There was a freighter at a docking port to his right. Large crates were stacked in several areas in the yard. Also strewn along the yard were several Hyperion Loader robots. Agent 71 surveyed the metallic corpses as he made his way inside the complex. The robots were all severely damaged. Some of the Hyperion Loaders were missing limbs. Others had a large hole where their central eye should be and and exit wound in the back of their heads.

Agent 71 inserted Moxxi's data chip into his ECHO communicator. The first image that came onto his screen was a steel cylindrical container. A rectangle enclosed around writing on the container. The image of the writing enlarged, giving him the batch number he needed. The screen on his ECHO changed. A generalized map came into view. A green dot flashed on the screen giving Agent 71 a general idea where the canister was likely being stored. The location was somewhere deeper in the facility. Following his map, Agent 71 made his way up some stairs and moved toward a catwalk that overlooked a courtyard. The catwalk had three cable railings on either side to prevent animals from leaping onto the catwalk. The left side railing was broken and twisted outward toward the courtyard. Someone or something had broken into the courtyard from the catwalk.

Agent 71 moved to the broken railing. He could not see any movement. He crouched to one knee. Pulling out his sniper rifle, he stared down the scope. He zoomed the lens in and out. There were no animals around that he could see. The only evidence something lived here were the piles of animal droppings with human bones protruding from them. Near the back of the courtyard about 200 meters was an elevated observation station. A row of pipes from the courtyard ran up toward the area and ended next to a large hole in the observation station's wall.

Agent 71 placed his rifle back across his back. Agent 71 gripped the edge of the catwalk platform. Lying on his stomach, he slid through the railing gap. He eased his body off the platform. For a moment Agent 71 dangled over the courtyard as he gripped the edge of the catwalk, then he dropped down. He made his way across the courtyard. Agent 71 scaled the pipes and maneuvered his was up to the hole in the wall. Next to the hole was an observation window and a work console. Lying on top of the console was an ECHO recorder. He pressed the playback button as he searched the room for useful items.

As he searched he could hear a female scientist complain to Handsome Jack about doing experiments on civilians. Jack's reply to her was blackmail and threats of conducting experiments on her significant other. Opening a emergency weapons locker, Agent 71 found a few spare clips of ammo for his Maliwan pistol. There were two doors in the room. There was one to the right of the broken wall. Some of the ceiling had given way, making that door inaccessible. The other door was just opposite of the hole. He opened the door a crack and peered out. This door led to a much larger courtyard. He could see several Rakks flying overhead.

Agent 71 once again assumed a crouched position. He removed his rifle. Opening the door a few inches wider, he pointed the gun out of the door. He scanned the door. There was still no animals he could see. The courtyard was divided into two sections by large water pipes that crossed through the field like a makeshift bridge. The half of the field closest to him was a large guard tower to the right of his position. Slightly to the left in the back half of the field was a door to a research facility. Agent 71 looked away from the scope and at his ECHO. The map showed that facility is where he needed to go. Agent 71 looked at the sky through his scope. The shadow of a much larger Rakk had appeared in the sky. The smaller Rakks scattered.

He lowered his rifle back to the courtyard. In the corner of his scope, Agent 71 saw what looked like a scramble of electricity. He moved his scope in the direction of the electrical burst. He could see nothing but grass. Agent 71 slung the rifle across his back. He stood up, drawing the silenced pistol from his right hip. Agent 71 began to make his way through the facility. Agent 71 kept his footsteps small and soft, in an effort to keep his movement quiet. There was no ned to stir up any animals lurking about with undo noise.

Something hard struck Agent 71 from behind knocking him prone. He rolled sideways and scrambled to his feet. There was a four legged creature where he fell. Each of it's long front limbs carried a thick hook shaped claw. The stalker's tail whipped forward blue barbs launched out from the tail. The projectiles hit Agent 71. There was a crackle of blue energy as his shields shorted out. Agent 71 fired at the stalker. The stalker strafed to the left and pounced.

The stalker tackled Agent 71 to the ground. He dropped his gun. With both hand he grabbed the creature's head. The stalker's teth snapped inches from his face. The creature continued to snap at him. The saliva from the creature's maw dripped onto his goggle lens. Agent 71 worked his legs up against the creature's chest and heaved it off. As he scrambled to his feet, Agent 71 pulled _Little Evie_ from his boot holster. The creature was facing him at a 45 degree angle.

As he aimed his gun, it vanished. Agent 71 laid down a barrage of blind fire in the angled direction it was facing. One of his shots connected. The electrical bolt from _Little Evie_ took down its natural stealth cloak. The stalker let out a ear piercing shriek. A few meters away he saw to more stalkers appear. In the distance near the facility doors he could hear the sounds of skag roars. The wildlife preserve was alerted to his presence! Grabbing his downed pistol, Agent 71 made a hard dash for the facility entrance.

His feet splashed through a small creek bed as he headed toward the pipe bridge. He glanced over his shoulder. The stalkers were stealthy but not quick. They were far behind him, though still giving chase. As he past under the bridge, a pack of skags were heading his way. Agent 71 could see the door to the facility was only a few meters ahead. He headed straight for them.

Just before he collided with them, he propelled himself into the air. With his arms outstretched, he dove over the pack. Then with a quick tuck and roll he was back on his feet. He hit his stealth cloak and bolted for the door. He only had ten seconds before the cloak ended. He reached the door. He pressed the switch. the door slid open. He could hear his cloak wear off.

He rounded inside the door and hit the door switch. The doors began to slide closed. Agent 71 could see the skags headed toward the door. The closest one leaped at the door, Agent 71 turned his hip up and thrust his leg out. He kicked the skag in midair out of the door just before it closed.

"Now to find that canister."


	4. Chapter 4

As the doors closed, the ambient light from outside evaporated. The inside of the facility had no power. Agent 71 activated the night vision on his goggles. Agent 71 kept _Little Evie_ at the ready in case there were stalkers lurking inside. Just like the docks, there were bodies lying about. Joining the broken Hyperion loaders, there were also dead engineers, scientists, skags and stalkers.

Agent 71 made his way to a large supply area. There was an assortment of crates and cylindrical containers stacked in several parts of the room. Agent 71 checked the cylindrical containers. He examined the coding numbers on each container; looking for a match. None of the containers matched the one he was looking for. Agent 71 headed toward the winding metal staircase that led to the second level. The room echoed with a resonating clanck as his boots traversed up the stairs.

The staircase led him through a small narrow corridor that opened into a larger room. There were several holding pens to contain the wildlife experiments. All the cages were empty. The cage doors hung open. To his right, Agent 71 noticed a small research lab. The door was closed but light seeped through the crack under the door. The room still had power!

Whatever was being conducted in the lab had warranted the use of a seperate power supply. His fingers wrapped around the knob and he twisted. The door was unlocked. He raised his pistol in readiness as he opened the door.

The air of antiseptic filled his nostrils as he entered. There were two examination tables in the center of the room. Atop of one of the tables lie a dead skag. The skag's chest had been surgically opened and several rotting organs lie on a tray next to the body. At the end of the room, Agent 71 spotted a research terminal. To the left of the terminal, there was a foot long cylinder container. The container was secured by three clamps that were inbedded into the counter. Next to the workstation there was sealed metal box about a meter long.

Agent 71 walked over to the canister and examined the number written across it. The label coding matched the one he was looking for. He went over to the terminal and tried to access the clamp release. The system was encrypted. Agent 71 attached his ECHO to the terminal. He opened up a sub-menu in his ECHO and ran a hacking program. The program failed on several attempts.

"Where is Gee when I need her? This is her forte, not mine." Agent 71 said disconnecting his ECHO device. "Looks like I'm going to have to do this the old fashion way."

Agent 71 found the power connections to the terminal. He followed the cables up the wall. The cables ran up and across the ceiling. Agent 71 continued to follow the power cables until he saw a power junction box.

"Here we are. Now for a touch of finesse."

Agent 71 raised _Little Evie_ toward the junction and squeezed the trigger. The electrical bullet from _Little Evie_ fried the junction box wiring. The room went dark. Agent 71's night vision came back online. From across the room, he heard a pair of clanks. Agent 71 returned to the workstation. The clamps had released the canister. He picked the canister up.

"Piece of cake" Agent 71 whispered and smiled beneath his hood.

His ears picked up a small creek coming from the rectangular box next to the station. He looked at the box's lid. It was open three inches. The lid flew open and out leapt a midget. The midget landed on the workstation counter. Running along the counter, the midget snatched the canister from Agent 71's hand. The midget jumped off the counter. He stuffed the canister into the small pack on his back as he ran out the door.

"Hey! Give that back half-pint!" Agent 71 said giving chase.

_Damn! That little sucker is fast!_

Agent 71 chased the midget through the facility. Although his legs were shorter, the midget ran under stairs and through tighter spaces. The gap between them widened as Agent 71 had to scale over or manuever around the obstacles. As Agent 71 rounded a corner, he saw the midget jumping up trying to reach an elevator button. The midget heard Agent 71 run up the small flight of stairs to his platform. The midget pulled out a shotgun from the top of his pack. He fired a round at Agent 71's chest.

An instant before the midget pulled the trigger, Agent 71 dropped into a slide. His right leg led in front of him, tripping the midget. Before the midget could recover, Agent 71 extended his wrist blades and jammed them into the midget. Agent 71 chest heaved as he tried to regain his breath. Once he got his second wind, Agent 71 went into the backpack and retrieved the canister.

Agent 71 stood onto the platform and activated the elevator controls. The elevator ascended. As it reached the top of the lift, a pair of metal doors in the ceiling opened. When the planform stopped above the doors, Agent 71 found himself outside the facility.

The grass filled landscape and rock formations were the same ones he had earlier passed on his way to the facility. As he approached a familar rock shaped archway, he saw 20 meters ahead in an open field was the largest Rakk he had ever seen. Agent 71 stood inside the archway of the rock formation. The large Rakk did not take notice of him. He looked around the area, looking for the best way to sneak around it.

From a blind corner on the opposite end of the arch, a large hammered arched in front of him. His metal chest plate rang out as the hammer struck it. The force of the blow knocked him to his back. From behind the arch, a large musclar man in a horned helmet came into view. Agent 71 saw his attacker rest the huge hammer onto his shoulder as he approached.

"You're not pretty enough to be from Jacobs Corporation and not ugly enough to be from Hyperion. So who the hell are you?" Agent 71 said.

"I am your doom Agent 71, but you can call me HAMMER!"

Hammer swung the hammer down at Agent 71. Agent 71 rolled to the side. Agent 71 spied the telltale electric bursts of stalkers approaching them.

"I don't have time for this." Agent 71 said. He stepped to left side of a creek he had fallen into. He waited until Hammer stepped into the stream. Agent 71 aimed _Little Evie_ at the stream and fired. The current flowed from the stream into Hammer. As big as Hammer was the current did not knock him out. The current was just enough to daze him and bring him down to one knee.

Agent 71 took the opening to cloak. He dashed by Hammer. Passing through the arch, his cloak began to drop. The large Rakk spotted him and screamed. Without breaking his stride, he laid down cover fire at the Rakk as he ran past it. Agent 71 did not stop until he reached the Fast Travel Station. He plugged in his ECHO and teleported into Sanctuary Station.

Agent 71 let out a deep breath. "Okay. Not exactly a piece of cake."

Following Moxxi's instructions, Agent 71 made his way to the Crimson Raiders HQ. He showed a picture of his contact to the door guard. The guard motioned upstairs. Agent 71 climbed the stairs and entered into a small Command Information Center. A thin man in long beard sat in a chair nearby. His feet were crossed and resting on the top of a terminal. The man was drinking a bottle of whiskey when he saw Agent 71.

"You need something pal?" The man asked as the bottle moved away from his lips.

"Are you Mordecai?" Agent 71 said.

"What if I am?"

Agent 71 took out the data chip and handed it to Mordecai along with the canister. "This is from Moxxi."

"Moxxi huh?" Mordecai said taking the chip and canister. "Let's see what it is." Mordecai inserted the chip into his ECHO.

**_Hello Mordecai, It's Moxxi. I know we haven't spoken much since our breakup. Seems so long ago Mordy. I know you haven't been the same since you lost Bloodwing. I'm sorry, even though you did enjoy plucking her feathers more than you plucked-oh never mind. Still, you did find Ruby for me long ago. So consider this a peace offering between us._ _Friends?_**

Mordecai unscrewed the container. Frost vapors seeped out of the open top. Reaching inside, Moredcai pulled out a large solitary egg.

"Bloodwing? She had babies?" Mordecai said. The words choked inside his throat. "Moxxi. Thank you."

Outside the Wildlife Exploitation Preserve, Hammer's boots walked through the shattered corpses of the stalkers. Hammer packed his weapon into the Rakk's harness. Climbing atop his Rakk mount, Hammer grabbed the reigns.

"Next time Agent 71. Next Time- You're mine!"


	5. Chapter 5

Hyperion Research Facility - Southern Wastes

A pair of Hyperion Sentries were patrolling their sector of the facility. "Did you hear about what happened on the Moon Base?" The first sentry asked.

The other one shook his head. "No. I was in the infirmary last week, remember? It was after the bullymong attack."

They walked down the corridor and stopped at the metal door leading into the Water Supply Room. "

Yeah. I forgot. You're allergic to bullymong fur." The first sentry nodded. "Well, somehow a bunch of Vault Hunters broke into the base. They stole a power supply and killed a lot of Hyperions on base. They even killed Mr. Thompson during negotiations with the Jacobs CEO. She barely escaped with her life. " The first sentry said as he opened the door.

The sentries stepped inside the room. In the center of the room was a large round cistern. Two pairs of red hoses ran from inside the cistern's pool of water to a water pump. The pump distributed the water out to the plumbing of the base.

"So whose running the show now?" The second sentry asked as his fingers dipped into the cistern's water.

The first sentry looked around the room. "Beats the hell out of me. We have a major power vacuum now. " He walked toward the water pump machinery. He crouched down to look under the gap beneath the pump.

"Bloody Vault Hunters! I'd love to get my hands on one of those bastards!" The second setry said removing his fingers from the pool and shook the drops of water from it.

"Good luck with that." The first sentry said as he stood back up. "We're stuck inside a lab beneath an giant ice cube! Like you'll ever get to see one."

"I'm just saying."

"Forget it." The first sentry said as he motioned to the door with his gun. "Let's finish this patrol so we can end our shift."

As the sentries exited the Water Supply Room, bubbles broke the cistern's water surface. Agent 71's head emerged from the water. Strapped onto his hood was a small rebreather mask. He grasped the edge of the cistern and hoisted himself out of the water. The excess water dripped off his body and pooled around his feet. He pulled the rebreather off of his hood and tossed it into the cistern. He didn't bother to watch as it sunk into the water. It was a one use item and worthless now.

Agent 71 began to do a systems check on his suit. He wanted to make sure there was no water damage. The blueprints Moxxi had given him showed this was the best entry point into the facility. The cistern got it's water supply from an underwater tunnel that led to the sea. Agent 71 finished the the system check on his suit. There appeared to be no malfunctions caused by the swim. Crouching low by the door, he turned the handle. Opening the door a couple of inches, he peered through the gap.

Agent 71 could see the wall of the corridor directly in front of him. He opened the door wider and leaned out a bit more. The corridor ended in t-sections on both sides. The two sentries were headed down the west side of the hallway. Agent 71 watched as they turned down the right corner of the junction. Agent 71 pulled up the blueprints onto his ECHO screen. The detenction area was also past the Westward corridor, if the floor plans were still accurate.

Agent 71 exited the Water Supply Room and headed down the West side of the corirdor. He pressed himself against the right side wall then peered around the corner left and right. The left side of the junction was clear. The right side still had the two sentries walking with their backs to him. He turned left down the empty corridor. After checking that the hallway was clear, he made the next right turn. Being more alert than he was on the Moon Base, Agent 71 heard the echo footfalls down by the far end of the corridor. Agent 71 turned down a side corridor to his left. The corridor was only 50 meters long and ended at a wall. A row of barrels were against it.

The pair of sentries turned into the left side corridor Agent 71 had just slipped from. Unlike the other two sentries, there were no words exchanged between them. They continued their silent patrol as they neared the corridor Agent 71 ducked into. As they approached the corridor, they turned their heads to the right. Looking down the corridor as the walked, they saw nothing but the row of barrels. Just as they cleared the side corridor, Agent 71 de-cloaked behind them with both silenced pistols drawn.

Agent 71's fingers squeezed the pair of triggers. A muffled bullet ran through the back of both of their skulls. They crumpled to the floor. The sentries fell on top of their rifles, damping their sound as they too hit the floor. Slinging the rifles across his left shoulder, Agent 71 grabbed a boot with each hand. With some effort, he dragged the bodies of the two sentries back into the side corridor. Bringing them to the back wall, he dropped their boots. Agent 71 walked over to the barrels and tapped them with his right knuckles. When he found two empty barrels, he pried the lids open. He picked up the sentries one at a time and dumped them into the barrels. Their guns soon followed before he grabbed the two lids. When he closed the last lid, Agent 71 rapped his fist on it twice .

"You got to love the Hyperion Retirement Plan."

Agent 71 checked the corridor again to ensure it was all clear. When he was satisfied, he entered the hallway. He proceeded Northward. After passing many rooms, he approached a four-way junction. He crouched low and peered around the right corner. To the right about halfway down the hall was the entrance to the Detention Center. There was a lone sentry guarding the entrance.

Agent 71 took out his pistol. He started to tap the butt of the gun against the floor. He stayed against the wall and listened. Agent 71 heard the footsteps of the guard moving toward the sound. He listen as the footfalls got louder. Agent 71 hit his cloaking device. Standing up, he turned the corner. He circled around the investigating guard, almost bumping the guard's shoulder. Agent 71 opened the door to the Detention Center as he watched the guard turn the corner to investigate the sounds.

There was a central station a few feet from the door. Beyond the station, were holding cells against the right and left walls. There was a guard sitting at the central station. His back was facing Agent 71. He was reading a magazine with Moxxi on the cover. Music played out of a radio on the control console. Every so often, the guard's hand would adjust the radio's bent antenna.

Agent 71 crept up behind him. He wrapped his arm around the guard's neck in a rear naked choke hold. The guard flailed about in surprise before finally going limp. Agent 71 removed the cell keys from the guard's belt. He began walking down the cell block. So far all the cells were empty. Then he heard a female voice coming from one of the middle cells on the left side.

"I'm a little teapot bloody and cut. This is my handle. This is my butt!"

Inside the cell, Agent 71 saw a little girl drawing bunnies and flowers on the wall with a pink crayon. He tapped the bars with the keys. The girl turned around. She couldn't older than 13 or 14 years old. Her blonde hair was cropped short. Her bangs were too long and helped conceal a band aid across the bridge of her nose.

"You are interrupting my CREATIVE PROCESS!" The girls shouted and shook her crayon accusatorily at him.

"Sorry. I'm looking for someone."

"You found someone. Duh!" The girls said and crinkled her nose.

"No a guy named Salty Saul and his explosive supplier."

"Dats me." The girl said pointing to herself.

"You're Salty Saul?"

"Pfft! No fool! I'm the explosive supplier."

"Really? What's your name?"

"Sorry dog. I don't talk to strangers. What's your's?"

"I'm called Agent 71."

"Uh. Seventy One of what?" She asked scratching her head. When he didn't answer, she continued. "My name's Tina."

Agent 71 shook his head in disbelief. That was the name Torgue gave him for the explosive supplier. Agent 71 unlocked the door and opened it.

"Mr. Torgue hired me to get you and Salty Saul out of here."

"Salty ain't here."

"What do you mean he's not here?"

"They took him outta here last night. Some silver haired lady said they were taking them to the 'dig site'."

"What dig site?"

"Pfft! I don't know." Tina said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Come on let's go."

"Right behind you Angie."

"It's Agent 71, not Angie."

"Whatever." Tina said blowing her loose bangs. She picked up her stuffed rabbit, Mr. Fluffy-Snugglebutt off the cot. A cold shiver ran up Agent 71's spine when he saw it.

_Ugh! Rabbits!_

Agent 71 opened the door to the Detention Center. The guard was in front of the door again, facing away from him. Agent 71 tapped the guard on the right shoulder. When the guard turned his head, his chin was greeted with Agent 71's fist. The guard fell to the ground.

"Whoa! Nice punch Angie!"

"Stop calling me Angie! It's Agent 71!" He said as he dragged the guard inside the Detention Center. Once inside, he locked both guards inside Tina's old cell.

When Agent 71 opened the Center door again, two sentries had just started to walk past the door. "Intruder!" They shouted. Before they could raise their weapons, Agent 71 already had his pistols out and began firing. The sentries fell to the ground.

An alarm klaxon rang out.

Someone had heard the alerted shouts and raised the alarm.

There was no chance he could go back the way he came in. Agent 71 knew from the blueprints that he had to reach the main entrance. There was a vehicle bay just inside the main doors. They could hitch a ride out from there. They ran down the passage he had just come through. He was nearing the side corridor with the barrels when he saw it. Highlighted in the red light of the alarm wall lamp, several shadows stretched out from an adjacent corridor. Agent 71 saw a door to a room right next to the side corridor.

He opened the door and scanned the room with his gun. The office room was empty. Agent 71 ushered Tina inside. Agent 71 stood by the door. He opened the door until only a sliver of space was there. Then he raised his gun and watched the hall through the crack. Through his peripheral vision, he could see Tina looking at some items on the desk.

The sound of clammering boots returned his focus to the hall. He watched as several guards ran past the door. He waited a few more moments; making sure ther were no stragglers.

"Tina let's go!"

Agent 71 ran back into the hall. The two of them hurried down the corridors and made it to the vehicle bay. Tina headed into the bay as he stayed by the door. Agent 71 pushed a nearby crate against the door to slow any pursuers down, then headed for Tina.

He caught up with Tina. The walls of the bay were aligned with Runners, but Tina wasn't looking at them. Her eyes were focused on a large modified armored personnel carrier. The thing had to be close to 10 feet long. The three axels had large thick suspension to support it's weight. The rear of the APC sported a swivel mounted rack of missles. The front carried two fixed .50 caliber machine guns.

"Whoa Momma! I'm driving! You've got shotgun!"

There was a thud by the door. He turned. Someone was trying to push open the door. When he turned his attention back to Tina, she was running to the APC's open side door.

"Tina wait!" Agent 71 said and started after her.

"YOU'VE GOT SHOTGUN!" She hollered back.

She had already dissappeared inside the APC when he reached the door. Agent 71 started to climb inside. Tina could not sit in the driver's seat and still reach the pedals. She instead stood up and rested her butt on the edge of the seat. With a laugh that Agent 71 could only swear was a bit maniacal, Tina slammed her foot down on the gas pedal.

"TIIINNNAAAA!" Agent 71 said as the sudden acceleration caused him to roll into the back of the APC. Mr. Fluffy-Snugglebutt flew out of his seat and hit Agent 71 square in the face.

_I hate rabbits!_

Tina fired rockets at the closed bay doors. The explosions blew open the bay doors, clearing a path for the APC!

"AHHAHAHAHAH! BURN ALL THE BABIES!" Tina said in triumph.

Agent 71 moved the stuff rabbit off his face.

_Am I ever going to get a normal or at least quasi-sane contract on Pandora?!_


	6. Chapter 6

Badass Crater of Badassitude

Several miles north of the Arena, Agent 71 stood outside a small mobile home. The trailer was covered in designs of flowers and rabbits. Live land mines blinked as the proximity sensors guarded the entrance of the property. The yard was littered with artillery shell casings and bomb parts. Parked in the back of the yard, the APC that aided in his escape from the Hyperion Research Base sat. Having not found Salty Saul at the Hyperion Base, Agent 71 called in a favor from the Crimson Raiders in Sanctuary. He was told to wait here at Tiny Tina's place until his contact arrived.

"Angie! Get inside! We're waiting on you!" Tina yelled from inside the trailer.

Agent 71 walked up the tiny steps that led to the trailer door. He pushed the handle down and stepped inside. Tiny Tina sat at the head of a rectangular table. There was a stuffed rabbit with one eye to Tina's left. To her right, lay an empty seat. There were three more seats. The second seat on Tina's right had another stuffed rabbit. There was a seat next to the rabbit on her left and a seat in the front of the table, both seats were empty.

Agent 71 tapped his ECHO device. "Tina have you heard anything from Sanctuary? Our contact is over an hour late."

Tina poured tea into her cup from a dented old teapot. "Angie, I know our other guest is fashionably late, but we need to get this tea party started."

"Tina forget the tea. We have to find Salty Saul or I'll never get paid." Agent 71 said. He still had not moved away from the front door.

"You don't like my tea?" Tina said. The tone of her voice got quiet.

"Tina, I never said that. I haven't even tried it."

"You don't like my tea?" Tina repeated. Her voice whined. Tina's bottom lip trembled.

"Oh course I like your tea."

Tina slammed both fists on the table. "THEN SIT DOWN BEFORE YOUR TEA GETS COLD!"

Agent 71 walked over to the table and started to pull out the front chair that faced Tina.

"Not that one. That's for our late arrival. You're next to Felicia Sexopants." Tina said and pointed to the empty seat next to the stuffed rabbit.

_Right next to the rabbit. Wonderful._

Agent 71 pulled out the seat next to the toy rabbit and sat down.

"Are we expecting a second guest?" Agent 71 said and pointed to the empty seat to her right.

"Oh that seat was reserved for Sir Reginald Von Bartlesby."

Agent 71 picked up his cup and saucer. "Is he fashionably late too?"

"He's not coming. He's been banned from my tea parties."

"Banned? Why?" Agent 71 said before taking a sip of the tea.

_Ooooo. This tastes good._

"Because I found out he was a racist!" Tina said and placed her hand over her heart. "Tina is all about E-quality."

"Soooo how many brothers and sisters ya got?" Tina continued as she stirred some sugar into her tea.

"Just one." Agent 71 said.

"What about the other 69?"

"Pardon? What other 69?" Agent 71 said.

"Your number 71. What happened to all those other siblings?" Tina said as she raised her cup and took a sip.

"Tina, 71 is or rather _was _the number my previous employer assigned to me when I used to work for them. That's all."

"Oh." Tina said about his anti-climactic response.

There was a knock on the door. Tina sprang from her seat. "I'll get it!"

Agent 71 took another sip from his cup. He felt ridiculous. Still, this was a fine blend of tea.

"Oh my, aren't you adorable?" A lady's voice said.

Agent 71 turned his head toward the voice. The blonde woman in the grey fedora he saw at 'Moxxi's Beds and Booze' was standing there. Tina was holding her hand.

"Welcome my lady to the Chateau De Tina." Tina said. Her arm swung out to display her pad to her guest. Tina led the woman to the empty chair and went back to her own seat.

"Introductions please." Tina said. "I'm your host, Tina." She said placing a hand on her chest.

"I'm Morgan." The blonde woman said. Her hands removed her fedora and placed it on the table. Morgan looked at Agent 71.

"Agent 71." He said with a bland tone in his voice.

"71 of what?" Morgan said with a smile.

"I know, right." Tina said rolling her eyes.

Morgan reached into a satchel that was slung across her left hip. "Sorry I'm late. I had my ride stolen by bandits. Had to take a Fast Travel Station to the Arena, then walk from there. Dodging skags and bandits along the way took me longer than expected to get here." She pulled out a parchment and unfolded it. Agent 71 could see it was a map. Morgan spread the map across the center of the table. Leaning over the table, she pointed to a spot inside the area of Wurmwater.

"That's where your friend Salty Saul will be." Morgan said.

Agent 71 looked at the area her finger was pointing to. "Morgan, that's a mine. Not a dig site."

"Listen brainiac, the dig site is _inside_ the mine. Rumor has it the miner's discovered another vault. Salty Saul was abducted to research any weapons that are recovered."

"And you know this how?" Agent 71 said. He was not convinced.

"One of the miner's recovered this." Morgan said. Her hand reached into the satchel and pulled out a strange looking handgun.

"And this miner, he just gave it to you?" Agent 71 said as he place the cup back onto the saucer.

"Not exactly. It's a Relic. I'm a Relic Hunter." Morgan said as she returned it to the satchel.

"So you stole it." Agent 71 said folding his arms.

"I _recovered _it!" Morgan said narrowing her eyes at Agent 71.

"Ladies! Ladies!" Tina said tapping her spoon to her teapot.

"So if that's where Saul is, we'd better get going." Agent 71 said and stood up. Tina and Morgan also got to their feet.

"We'll have to take a Fast Travel to Oasis. We can get a hover skiff from there to reach the mine." Morgan said, picking up her map. Morgan refolded it and returned it to her satchel. Morgan grabbed her fedora from the table and placed it back on her head.

"No need for all that, we'll take our ride." Agent 71 said and headed for the door. Tina grabbed Mr. Fluffy Snugglebutt and followed him.

Morgan followed both Tina and Agent 71 out of the trailer door and around to the back of the yard. Her eyes bulged when she saw the APC. Her mouth was agape and she pointed at the APC.

"THAT'S MY TRUCK! YOU STOLE MY TRUCK!" A befuddled Morgan said.

"First off, Tina stole the truck." Agent 71 said. "Second, what were you doing at a Hyperion Base?" Both Tina and Agent 71 eyed Morgan with growing suspicion.

Morgan placed a hand on her hip. "Hyperion hired me to find the second half of the key they needed to open the vault, alright! I was promised a share of the findings as long as it wasn't weapon tech. When I brought the key piece to them, they simply took it from me! They were about to lock me up in the brig when an intruder alarm went off. I used the chaos to escape to the vehicle bay. When I got there, I found my truck was gone and the bay doors blown open! I ran out through hole in the blown doors, probably done from my missiles!"

"Sorry girl. My bad. That was me." Tina said handing Morgan the keys.

"Well since your infiltration of the base saved my bacon, you're forgiven." Morgan said as she accepted the keys from Tina.

The three of them got into the APC.


	7. Chapter 7

The APC rolled across the sandy waste of Wurmwater. The APC's large tires easily manuevered through the labyrinth of mesa formations. Inside the APC, Morgan the Relic Hunter, Agent 71 and Tiny Tina continued trekking toward the mining facility where the Hyperion Dig Site was rumored to be located. Morgan was behind the wheel of the monstrous APC. Tina was sitting next to Morgan. Tina clutched her stuffed rabbit between her arms and bounced in her seat. Agent 71 sat in a seat in the middle of the APC. His sniper rifle rested on his lap. His hand moved a wire brush inside the firing chamber to clean it out.

"So this key piece you recovered. What did it lool like?" Agent 71 said as he completed his cleaning.

"A large piece of copper about 6 inches long and shaped in the letter V. On the underside of the key were three hooks. Each hook was located on one of the keys end points." Morgan said.

Morgan looked through the tinted bullet resitant glass of the windshield. A large mesa rock divided the road into two seperate junctions. The path to the right was abstructed by the fiery wreckage of several hover skiffs.

"Guys, I'm going to have to take a little detour."

Morgan turned the wheel to the left. The APC banked into the left side corrider of the mesa formation. Morgan noticed the corrider she was driving through was much narrower than the trail she had intended. Although there was little space to manuever, the APC was well clear of the rock walls of the Mesa. Through the glare of the sun she could see a shadow in the distance. The shadow seemed to be growing larger as she approached. A ball of blue light spewed forth from the shadow. In this tight space, she had no room to dodge. Slamming the brakes, she shifted into reverse.

"What the hell is going on up there!" Agent 71 shouted to Morgan.

"Just hang on!" Morgan said. If Morgan could reach the entrance before the ball struck, they had a chance! She watched as the ball of light got larger as it closed the distance. With a blinding flash the ball of energy hit the APC. The vibration of the engine stopped. The APC's tires quit rolling backward.

Agent 71 went up to the front if the APC. He rested his hand on the top of Morgan's seat. "Can someone please tell me what's happening?"

"We just got struck with an electro-magnetic pulse. We're dead in the water." Morgan said as she leaned back in the seat.

Agent 71 looked out the windshield. The shadow was getting larger as it closed in. The shadow began to take shape. It was a ship. Large repulsor jets kept the hull of the ship from touching the sand. There was a sail mast at the center of the ship. Although there was no sail, a single black flag fluttered in the wind. The flag had a psycho mask at it's center. Just below the mask, there was a pair of crossed pistols. when the boat stopped next to the APC, a voice blared over a loud speaker.

_**Hello my friends! You have the previledge of being robbed by the infamous Pirate King Von Havok! I know. I know. Contain your excitement. My men and I will be gracing you with my presence shortly.**_

The first deck level of the ship was a skiff pad for raids and the entrance to the cargo bay. A ramp descended down from the level. The ship inched forward, sliding the ramp underneath the APC's wheels. When the APC was fully on the ramp, the APC was hoisted up to the cargo level.

"There rolling us into the cargo bay." Morgan said. Her face displayed the grim reality of the situation.

"Angie! What are we going do?!" Tina said looking at Agent 71.

The APC rocked on it's suspension as the towing cable reeled it ino the bay. Agent 71 pulled his mask over his face. He grabbed his sniper rifle from the APC seat and readied his rifle.

"The two of you are going to sit tight. I'm going to step out and find a way out of this mess." Agent 71 said. He pressed the cloaking device on his gauntlet. Nothing happened. The EMP blast had fried his suit's devices.

"You were saying?" Morgan said.

The side APC slid open. Agent 71 turned his head to see a dozen armed pirates with their guns pointed his way.

"We're screwed." Agent 71 said. He placed his rifle on the floor of the APC and raised his hands over his head.

The pirates stormed the APC. They disarmed Agent 71 of his guns and gauntlets. The pirates took away Morgan's satchel and a 8 inch cylinder connected to her belt. One of the pirates took Tiny Tina's rabbit Mr. Fluffy Snugglebutt. That earned him a kick in the shin from Tina. The pirates laughed as he hopped on one leg. The pirates escorted the three of them out of the APC.

The pirates led them to a loading elevator. When the group was on the platform, one of the pirates hit a control switch. The elevator ascended several levels until it reached the main deck of the ship. There was at least another dozen pirates waiting for them on deck. From the steering platform, a man in a navy blue captain's tailcoat moved into view. A red bandana covered the raven locks of his hair. His polished black boots walked down the stairs to the main deck. The golden buckles of the boots sparkled in the midday sun.

The pirate opened his arms out in greeting as he stepped onto the main deck. A smile formed beneath his thin mustache.

"So good to finally meet you, my unsuspecting sheep. Before I begin the fleecing, allow me to introduce myself. I am the scourge of Wurmwater, Pirate King Von Havok." Havok placed his hands inside his red belt sash. "So? How are you?"

"Kick Rocks Vonnie! Give me back Mr. Fluffy Snugglebutt!" Tina said. Her voice was full of venom.

Von Havok crouched down so he was closer to eye level with Tina. "It's Von Havok my petite prisoner, not Vonnie." Havok spied a copper bracelet on Tina's left wrist. Havok pulled it off her wrist. Tina tried to kick him but he lifted his leg to dodge the blow.

"Give the bracelet back dirt bag!" Agent 71 said.

Von Havok pulled out the scimitar strapped along his left waist. He pressed the point of the blade beneath the chin of Agent 71.

"I'm a pirate! I don't give things back. I take them! That's what it means to be a pirate." Havok grabbed the top of Agent 71's mask.

"Let's see what you look like ole' boy."

Havok lifted the mask off Agent 71's face. Havok looked at the scarred face of the man before him. The steel gaze of Agent 71's green eyes could've bore a hole right through the captain's tailcoat.

"On second thought, you look better with that on." Von Havok mused as he replaced the mask onto Agent 71. "Take them below."

The pirates pushed the trio back onto the elevator. They escorted the prisoners back to the cargo level. There was a large metal cage in the bow of the deck. The pirates pushed the three into the cage and locked the cell door. Agent 71 stood by the door and draped his arms through the bars. Tiny sniffled and mumbled Fluffy Snugglebutt's name. Morgan gave Tina a hug to comfort her. "I'm sorry they took your rabbit from you. That was pretty low even for pirates."

Morgan looked over to Agent 71. "That was really nice of you to stick up for Tina like that."

Tina smiled through her tears. "That's why he's my boo."

Agent 71 simply shook his head. They needed a miracle to get out of this one.

Pirate King Von Havok steered his ship, _The Pandemic, _through the sandy sea of Wurmwater. Occasionally, a wurm would emerge from the sand much like their thresher cousins. Von Havok would simply plow right over them when they did. He admired his shiny copper braclet that he wore on his wrist. It wasn't worth much but he'd keep it just to piss off the masked prisoner below. Havok noticed a shadow envelop his ship. Looking skyward he saw a large rakk was blotting out the sun.

A ball of flame burst from the huge rakk's mouth and struck the deck. The fire ignited several pirates. The burning embers of their bodies leapt off the deck screaming into the sands below. The rakk perched itself on the top of the ship's center mast. The weight of the rakk strained the repulsor engines. The hull glided only inches off the sand. Hammer leapt off his rakk mount. His boots splintered the deck boards as he landed. Von Havok ducked low behind the steering wheel to avoid being seen.

The cargo bay rocked from the impact of the rakk's landing. A few small crates fell from their stacks. One of the crate's contents spilled onto the floor. One items in particular caught Tiny Tina's eye. Mr. Fluffy Snugglebutt was lying on his side next to the spilled crate. Agent 71 heard the booming skriek of the rakk and the ship leaned hard to the left. Tina's stuffed rabbit slid closer to the cage.

Tina stuck her arm out to reach for him, her small arm was not long enough. Tina grimaced and made noises as she strained to reach her rabbit. Morgan knelt down near Tina. Sticking her arm out, Morgan's longer arms made all the difference. Morgan grasped one of Snugglebutt's ears and dragged the rabbit to the cage bars. Morgan pulled the rabbit between the bars after some difficulty. Morgan's face bore a strange look as Tina grabbed Mr. Fluffy Snugglebutt and hugged him. The touching reunion was broken up with Agent 71's grim words.

"Give me a freaking break!" Agent 71 said as he watched the cargo elevator descend into the bay. Morgan looked in the direction of the elevator. She saw a large muscular man in a horned helmet. His beefy hands wielded a two handed warhammer.

"A friend of yours?" Morgan asked with a touch of sarcasm.

"Hardly. Whatever happens, the moment you see a chance to escape you take it! I'll keep bucket head here busy as long as I can." Agent 71 said as he saw Hammer approaching the cell door. "Sorry Hammer, somebody already collected your bounty. Better luck next time."

With a mighty roar, Hammer swung his warhammer down. The blunt end smashed the padlock keeping the cell closed. Agent 71 kicked the door into Hammer's face. There was a small clanging sound as the door frame connected with Hammer's helmet. Agent 71 took the opening to dash past Hammer. He picked up a crowbar that was lying atop one of the crates.

Agent 71 kept his distance. Agent 71 extended his right arm. His right hand motioned for Hammer to bring the fight to him.

Agent 71's goading gambit worked. Hammer moved away fom the cage allowing Tina and Morgan to escape the cage. Hammer closed the distance between the two of them. Hammer swung at Agent 71. Agent 71 ducked the telegraphic swing.

Agent 71 moved side to side, keeping Hammer's back to the cage so Tina and Morgan could slip away. Agent 71 jumped back a few inches as he dodged another large swing by Hammer. Agent 71 rolled under a third swing and struck the side of Hammer's knee with the crowbar.

Hammer dropped to one knee. Agent 71 smashed the crowbar against Hammer's back. Hammer's right hand dropped his hammer so it could it rest on the ground to steady himself. Agent 71 swung down at Hammer's back again. The swing was interrupted by Hammer's hand grabbing his throat. Hammer stood up. Lifting Agent 71 up by the throat with one arm, he hurled him backward.

Agent 71 crashed into a set of yellow barrels. The barrels crashed on top of him. Agent 71 struggled to get out from under the barrels. As he got to his hands and knees, Agent 71 noticed the red diamond label on the barrels with a flammable symbol at the center.

_Oh_ goody_!__ I'm knocked into stack of full fuel barrels. My luck is getting better every moment!_

A hard kick to his ribs brought his focus back to the fight, just as the air vacated his lungs. Agent 71 struggled to get to his feet. Everytime he tried, Hammer would land a fist into his skull, knocking him prone again. Hammer grabbed Agent 71 and hoisted Agent 71 high over his head before slamming Agent 71 into the the steel bay floor. Agent 71's eyes lost focus. As he fought the urge to lose consciousness, his blurry vison saw Hammer approaching. Hammer raised his warhammer for the coup des gras.

"HEY CHROME-DOME!" A female voice shouted from Hammer's right. Hammer turned to see Morgan. Morgan had retrieved her gear from one of the pirate's crates. Her hand held the small cylinder that was attached to her belt earlier. Morgan flicked her wrist. An energy whip ignited from the cylinder. The electric tendril wrapped along the warhammer's handle. The whip's current shocked Hammer, loosening his grip enough for Morgan to yank the warhammer from him.

Tina crept up behind Hammer. Reaching inside Mr. Fluffy Snugglebutt, she removed a hand grenade. Pulling the pin out with her teeth, Tina pulled open the back of Hammer's pants. Agent 71 saw the safety handle fly off the grenade as Tina, dropped it down Hammer's pants. With his last burst of energy, Agent 71 jumped to his feet and hurled himself into Hammer. As Agent 71 fell prone once more, he saw Hammer stagger back and trip on the fuel barrels.

Morgan and Tina tried to get Agent 71 up and moving. Hammer frantically fished in his pants for the grenade. The grenade detonated, taking the fuel barrels with it. The force of the blast caused _The Pandemic _to carreen ito the mesa wall. The ship splintered and began to come apart as it tumbled into a clearing in the sand.

Outside of the wreakage of _The Pandemic_, Agent 71 lay in the sand. Not too far away, Morgan and Tina lay prone. Agent 71 could see ahead of him was a mouth of a large cave. Even from this distance, Agent 71 could not miss the undeniable shape of Hyperion Loaders moving around the cave entrance. Agent 71 caught notice of a pair of silver stiletto heels in the sand. He craned his neck up as high as his limited strength would allow. The silver headed woman was flanked by two Hyperion guards.

"I guess the old saying is true." Kali, the head of Jacobs Corp said. Her lips broke into a small smile. "Good things _do_ come to those who wait."

Agent 71's head fell back into the sand and his mind slipped into darkness.


	8. Chapter 8

Agent 71's eyes opened. He could feel arms hooked beneath his own, supporting his weight. His eyes blinked inside his goggles as they regained their focus. Agent 71 watched his boots make drag marks in the dirt cavern floor as he was carried along. The Hyperion Sentries dragged Agent 71 into a large circular room.

As they entered the room, Jacobs Corp CEO, Kali was near the center of the chamber. She walked along the edge of a circular stone as she read something on her ECHO device. Directly over the stone circle in the floor was a small circular skylight. Just south of the circle was a rectangular stone. A hefty man with a full beard and wearing a white lab coat was dusting dirt off the stone. His clearing of the stone revealed glyphs and a vault symbol recessed in the stone and inlaid with copper.

Agent 71 had regained enough strength to start walking on his own feet. The guards led him to another group of guards off to the right of the scientist. The other guards had Tiny Tina and Morgan in custody.

"Are you two alright?" Agent 71 said as he joined them.

"We're fine." Morgan stated. Tina shook her head in agreement.

Kali pulled herself away from reading her ECHO. She walked over to Agent 71. Grabbing his mask with her left hand, she pulled it from his face. She took his hood and stuffed it between his belt strap. "You have no idea how good it is to see you again. Falling here at my doorstep saves Jacobs Corporation from paying on your bounty. In addition, you get to witness the rebirth of Jacobs and Hyperion with the opening of this new vault."

"Have you heard anything about vaults here on Pandora? The way I hear it they usually contain a big monster ready to eat the world." Agent 71 said with a sardonic grin.

"Not this time my dear. Professor Muttley over there has already translated most of the glyphs. They speak of a horde to conquer the universe. We have already unearthed weapons and artifacts of Eridain design. The vault contains the rest of the cache. Once opened, Salty Saul will decipher how each weapon functions and a merger of Jacobs Corp and Hyperion is assured."

A pair of Jacobs security walked Von Havok in by gunpoint. "Ma'am. We found this one trying to skulk out of the area."

"This has been a terrible misunderstanding. It is I, Pirate King Von Havok!" Havok declared.

Kali looked at him without a hint of recognition.

He cleared his throat. "I said my name is _Von Havok_!"

Kali raised her right eyebrow.

"Von Havok. Pirate King. Scourge of Wurmwater."

Kali shrugged her shoulders. "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Really? You must be new here." Havok said as he clasped his hands and rubbed them together. "I just happened to overhear in the passageway there was a bounty on this man. I'm sure that will help in obtaining me a new _Pandemic_."

Kali shook her head and looked over the rim of her glasses."Mr. Havok, I don't make deals with the confederates of fugitives."

"It's Pirate King Von Havok. PIRATE KING! Why can't anyone get that right the last two days? " He looked around the room. Finding no sympathy for his dilemma, he continued. "Back to the matter at hand, I'm not their confederate."

"Well Pirate King Von Havok, You've been found transporting a Hyperion and Jacobs Corp felon on your ship. That's called _harboring_ my dear."

"Madam, I assure you. I was their captor not a partner."

"Really?" Kali said and turned her head in the three prisoners' direction. "I don't see them in chains now do I?"

"They escaped." Havok said.

"That's makes matters even worse than being a mere accomplice. You're incompetent as well." Kali said and narrowed her eyes at him in disdain.

Kali eyed the copper bracelet on Von Havok's wrist. "That's an odd accessory? It doesn't go with your outfit at all?" She pulled the bracelet off his wrist and examined it. Her fingers traced along three indentations on one side of the bracelet. "Where did you get this?"

"He stole it from me! I found it first when Angie got me out of that stupid cell you locked me in!" Tina said.

"Angie?" Kali asked. She saw Tina's eyes drift over to Agent 71. Kali laughed and looked at Agent 71. "You have got to be the ugliest woman I've ever laid eyes on."

"Second ugliest." He corrected Kali. "You obviously haven't been viewing any mirrors lately."

Kali slapped Agent 71 hard in the face. "How dare you speak to me that way!" Kali took a moment to regain her composure. She turned her attention to the scientist working on the rectangular stone.

"Professor Muttley. Would you be so kind as to hand me the key fragment."

Professor Muttley reached inside his lab coat and pulled out the V-shaped copper key fragment. Kali took the fragment and overlaid it onto the bracelet. It was a perfect fit. She handed it to the Professor. "Professor. Do the honors."

Professor Muttley took the completed key from Kali. He knelt down and placed the key inside the stone recess. The surrounding glyphs illuminated in a violet Eridium glow. The center circle began to rotate. As it rotated it slid beneath the floor. In the circle's place, a small obsidian tower on a dais rose from the cavern floor. The obsidian tower was inlaid with designs and glyphs.

"Not exactly a weapon's cache Kali." Agent 71 said with a smile. Professor Muttley snickered at the remark. Kali shot the Professor a look that instantly silenced it.

"It's not a giant world devouring monster either. Professor Muttley, begin your analysis of the artifact. Guards take Agent 71 and his friends to Salty Saul's quarters."

The guards led Agent 71, Tina and Morgan with Von Havok in tow. The four captives were led through a winding passage. They stopped at an alcove in a left side cave wall. There were installed bars and a cell door leading into the alcove. On the floor was a plate, tin cup, blanket and pillow. One of the guards opened the cell door and the other guards began to funnel them inside.

"This isn't a living quarters, it's a squalor!" Von Havok said as the guards shoved him inside. As they closed the door, Von Havok grabbed the door and shook its bars.

"I demand you release me at once!" The guards laughed as he continued to shake the bars on the door. "I cannot believe this. This should never happen to the greatest - not to mention the best looking pirate that ever lived on Pandora."

"Get over yourself Vonnie!" Morgan said.

"It's Von" Havok started to say. Then realizing the futility of correcting Morgan, Von Havok leaned into the corner next to the cell door.

"What'll you think they're going to do with us Angie?" Tina said holding the rabbit in her left hand.

"If I had to guess, I'd say that Siren bitch is going to test any weapons Saul gets working on us." Agent 71 said and looked at Tina. "You wouldn't happen to have a hacksaw in Mr. Fluffy Snugglebutt?"

Tina shook her head. "Sorry Boo. He doesn't eat enough fiber to have more than one item."

"That's disgusting." Havok said.

"Can it Havok! Don't give me another reason to kill you. Nobody will miss you." Agent 71 said.

"My mother would disagree! Well, she would if she wasn't eaten by that stalker 8 years ago." Von Havok crossed his legs as he leaned against the corner. "Look, I'll make you a deal."

"Like the one you tried to make with that woman in there?" Morgan said raising her eyebrows.

Von Havok folded his arms. "Hello! I'm a pirate! I don't like the idea of this either but we have a better chance at staying alive if we work together and escape than staying here to die."

"He's got a point Boo." Tina said to Agent 71.

"I hate to admit it, but I have to agree." Morgan said.

"Unless he's got a great plan, it's all talk." Agent 71 said as he eyed Havok.

Von Havok shook his head. "No plan. But how about a key?"

"You stole the key from the guards?" Agent 71 said.

"Not exactly." Havok removed two buttons off his cuff links. Hidden inside the cuffs were a pair of lock picks. "Watch the corridors while I work my magic."

Havok worked on the locks for a few minutes. The minutes felt like hours to Agent 71 as he feared they would be discovered. Then he heard a click from the cell lock. Havok opened the door and the four of them stepped out. They crept along the corridor. Agent 71 saw the corridor winded into a blind spot. Keeping his body low, he peered around the bend in the corridor. He saw two guards a few feet away. They had their backs to Agent 71 and were in the middle of a conversation. Agent 71 snuck up behind them. He stood up and then crashed their heads together like a pair of symbols.

"Marvelously done ole' boy. Farewell." Havok said.

"You're leaving!" Morgan said in disbelief.

"I'm afraid so." Havok said and skulked down a connecting passage.

"Forget him Morgan, let's change into these guard outfits and find Salty Saul." Agent 71 said as he started removing a guard's gear.

Once in their disguises and armed with the guard's rifles, Morgan and Agent 71 took Tina through the corridors. After ten minutes, they found several power cables lining the floor. On a hunch, Agent 71 suggested they follow them. They followed the trail of cables for 500 meters. The cables led into a 60 foot by 80 foot cavern. There were a half a dozen pole lamps illuminating the room. The power cables led to a pair of power generators that powered the lights and several pieces of equipment. There was a thin ginger headed man at a workbench. A few feet away, there was a guard watching over the man.

Agent 71 motioned Tina and Morgan to wait there. Agent 71 entered the room. The guard looked at Agent 71, then he returned his attention to the other man. Agent 71 walked next to one of the power generators. He crouched down next to it. Keeping his eye on the guard, he unscrewed one of the live cable feeds. Holding the live cable in his right hand, he walked over to the guard and touched the live wires to the back of his helmet.

Sparks flew off the contact point. The Guard flopped around like a fish out of water then fell and remained motionless.

"What's going on here?" The frightened man asked.

Agent 71 removed his guard's helmet. "Salty Saul, Mr. Torgue sent me to rescue you."

The man looked uncertain. He saw another guard walk in with Tiny Tina.

"Wassup Saulie!" Tina said.

Saul breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank the heavens! Please get me out of here."

"Any idea where they may have stored our gear? It would make it a lot easier." Agent 71 said.

"Oh course. They placed everything they salvaged over in that corner." Saul said pointing to a pile of equipment in the northeast end of the room. Morgan and Agent 71 rummaged through the equipment. Morgan recovered her satchel and electro whip. Agent 71 found his silenced pistols, gauntlets and _Little Evie_.

"Did they recover a sniper rifle by any chance?"

"I'm afraid I scrapped it." Salty Saul said.

"What?! Why?!" Agent 71 said.

"I needed the parts." Saul said with a shrug.

"Parts for what?" Agent 71 said.

Saul walked over to another bench. There was a tarp covering something. Saul pulled off the tarp to reveal a .416 caliber sniper rifle.

Agent 71 let out a whistle.

"Yes. It is a work of art. I modified an old Hyperion Morningstar rifle. I call it _Northstar_." Saul said with a smile, admiring his craftsmanship.

Agent 71 picked up the rifle. The weight wasn't much different than his old rifle. "Any ammo for this Saul?"

"Red box on the floor to your right." Saul said. Morgan tapped Saul on the shoulder. "Speaking of salvage, you wouldn't have happened to see _Goliath_? Big vehicle, with six wheels and a rocket platform in the rear?"

"Yes, actually. I can take you to it." Saul said.

"Excellent. Morgan, take Tina and Saul to your truck. I'll catch up." Agent 71 said, loading up the sniper rifle with ammo.

"Where are you going?" Morgan asked.

"To blow that black tower to pieces. Whatever it is, Kira's not going to get to use it!" Agent 71 said as he slapped the ammo clip into the rifle.

"But Angie!" Tina protested.

"Tina you need to go, all of you. Now!" Agent 71 said.

Agent 71 watched the three of them leave the way they had come in as he removed his disguise and donned his gear. Agent 71 made his way through the corridors, activating his cloak whenever he came across a guard patrol. After several wrong turns, Agent 71 reached the main chamber. The room was empty. From a side corridor he could hear voices approaching.

"Yes Kali. I'm sure the obelisk needs to be charged with Eridium. Your Siren absorption and transference abilities should do the trick."

"You better be right Professor. Using Eridium gives me a major hangover later on." Kira said as she and Professor Muttley entered the room from the side corridor.

Agent 71 and Kali's eyes met.

Agent 71 raised the rifle. He aimed at the obelisk through the scope. He pulled the trigger. The room echoed with a boom! A wisp of black smoke emanated from the obelisk but looked otherwise unscathed. He fired a second shot. There was a second wisp of black smoke. This time, Agent 71 heard a female voice come out of a speaker inside the butt of the rifle.

_**[If you were a better shot you'd only need one bullet!]**_

Agent 71 looked down at his rifle.

_Did this thing just nag me?_

"Die agent 71! Phase-Split!" Kali said. With a violet flash, Kali spawned her two elemental doppelgangers. The three of them pulled out their Infinity pistols and fired as Professor Mutlley ran back into the side passage.

Agent 71 was ready for her this time. He cloaked and did a leaping dive followed by a tuck and roll. Then he fired his twin pistols as he strafed toward the obelisk. He pressed his back against the obelisk. Using the obelisk as cover, Agent 71 reloaded as his cloak recharged. There was a pause in Kali's firing.

_Hell did she just escape again?_

Raising his pistols, he aimed over the obelisk. Kali was there but not the doppelgangers. He suddenly realized why. From his peripheral vision, he saw the two duplicates had flanked his position.

"Goodbye Agent 71. Parting is such sweet sorrow." Kali said.

From behind Kali a scimitar struck her pistol and dislodged it from her grasp. She turned around and was punched in the face by Von Havok. With Kali unconscious the duplicates vanished. Agent 71 looked at Havok who was helping himself to Kali's Infinity pistol.

"I thought you were out of here?"

"I was. I got lost." Havok said with a smile. "Let's get out of here 71. This place is crawling with Hyperion Loaders now."

Agent 71 nodded and followed Von Havok, but not before grabbing the vault key from the rectangular stone. Even though Havok saved his life, he still didn't trust him. The slightest hint of a double cross and Agent 71 would cloak out of there. They ran through the corridors. As they turned around a bend, they almost ran into three Loaders. One of the Loaders spun its hand like a propeller.

"Not this way!" Von Havok shouted. Havok and Agent 71 backpedaled out of the corridor, firing behind them to cover their escape. The two made it outside to see six Hyperion Loaders headed their way. Before the two could run back into the caverns, the Loaders were caught in an explosion. As the smoke cleared they saw _Goliath's_ huge tires rolling over the wrecked robots. Tina opened the side door.

"ANGIE LET'S GO!"

Agent 71 hopped into the APC followed by Von Havok. Agent 71 handed Tina the copper bracelet. "You forgot this."

Tina took the bracelet and smiled. "Angie, you're the best."

Havok tried to take the seat next to Morgan who was driving, but Tina got there first.

"Sorry. I've got shotgun! Tina declared.

"Little girl, the great Pirate King Von Havok does not sit in the back!" Havok said placing his hands on his hips.

"Let's not blow this out of proportion Vonnie." Tina said waving a grenade in her right hand.

Havok turned around and walked down in the APC before taking a seat across from Agent 71.

"This is cozy." Havok said with a mock smile as he looked at Agent 71.

"I glad you made it Angie. I didn't want to leave you behind Boo." Tina said looking back at Agent 71.

"Tina about my name." Agent 71 said as he removed his mask.

"I know. I know. It's Agent 71. I just like messin' with ya."

"Actually Tina." Agent 71 said looking down at his mask; his thumb traced the "H" symbol. "You can call me Darius."

Kali staggered to her feet and wiped the blood off her busted lip. She would make that pirate pay someday for that. Kali stepped up onto the dais and placed her hands on the obelisk. Her tattoos glowed and she transferred her Siren powers into the obelisk. The designs and glyphs began to glow. A beam of light shot out from the top of the obelisk and through the ceiling skylight. A second beam launched from the obelisk into the air about 7 feet from the floor.

The beam caused the surrounding air to swirl and darken. The swirl expanded into a portal. A figure over 2 meters high came through the portal. The figure was clad in ebony battle armor. The war helmet had it's visor down and only the scaly green reptilian mouth was visible. Before Kali could speak, the reptile soldier opened his mouth. As he bared his fangs, he spat venom into Kali's face. She screamed and fell to her knees as she was blinded by the venom. Several smaller reptile soldiers exited the portal. They looked up at their commander awaiting his orders.

"Let the Purge begin!" He hissed.

The Horde had arrived!


End file.
